diary of a dysfunctional doll

random

03.07.05 (5:33 pm)

i haven't been updating my blog quite as much the past few days. i dunno, there for awhile, i just didn't have anything else to do but blog. i've been playing alot of games online this week, and chatting, and trying to clean my house, so i guess thats why i've slacked off here. i'm still planning on updating frequently, but maybe every few hours was just too much to begin with, lol.

so anyway, i talked to the hubby earlier. not much exciting there, it will still be afew weeks till i see him, and he can't help me get stuff done around the house via phone, so i honestly wasn't too excited.

two things on my mind tonight. first of all, i've been trying to clean my house for about 3 weeks now, lol. its not that bad, theres just alot of clutter and ii feel like i should do something about it. also alot of little things, like waxing the floors and dusting that should be done, but nothing that makes the house gross or anything. still, i feel like i should be doing this stuff, and at the same time, it doesnt feel all that important, and i'm just not motivated. ya ever feel that way? and how do you push yourself to do something that you know it would be nice if you did, but it doesn't *need* to be done, and you really just don't wanna?

secondly, i was sitting here earlier and one of my hubbys friends stopped by, and then my neighbor came over. i really don't like being here alone, but i hate uninvited company. plus, after 3 weeks of spending most of my time online, and not with reall people, i kindof don't feel like talking to these people. blah. so, they invited themselves over, and we're sitting here talking, and i zoned out. i mean, i had plans for the night... as lame as my plans may seem, still... i had plans. i was gonna sit here with a glass of wine and some candles, and relax, watch meaningless tv, play computer games and maybe chat online. maybe i should have been glad to have company, but i was alittle pissed. neither of them asked me what i had planned to do tonight. and neither of them acted like they were gonna leave any time soon. i couldn't for the life of me think of how to get rid of them. i was mad at mike anyway cause he only came over to check his email on my computer, even tho last week he was too busy to help me with the flat tire. so i said that i had planned on playing around online for abit, and then i was gonna call it a night. they both started in on me about how i should let them stay and we'd hang out.. blah blah blah. obviously if i wanted to do that, i wouldn't have mentioned that i had other plans. eventually my neighbor got bored and left, so i kicked mikeout, claiming to be tired, and not in the mood to hang out. still the nerve of these people! ugh. really, if i want to be a hermit, thats my damn business!

posted by: jennirae269
post date: 03.07.05 (5:48 pm)

I have really big mean dogs, so I don't get too much uninvited company! lol

I know what you mean about the motivation thing. I never have any. I don't do anything at the house until it absolutely has to be done, or the world will end. Ok, maybe not quite that extreme but you know what I mean!

posted by: Roxgirl
post date: 03.07.05 (7:17 pm)

Your motivation problem sounds like MINE!!! I won't clean until it either A) get's unbearable (even by MY standards) or B) I have a DATE coming over... For some reason, other people motivate me to keep a clean house, but a clean house for my own pleasure.... MEH, I'll get a MAID!!!! :)

PS... LOVE your BLOG template!!! :)

posted by: FinalyFree
post date: 03.08.05 (8:16 pm)

Uninvited company is one of my biggest pet peeves, why is they always drop by at the worst possible time???

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100... no, wait, 80 things you might like to know about me:
1. i love being a mom.
2. i love being married, but i hate being a navy wife.
3. my son is 6 months old.
4. i am terrified of dogs.
5. i have two chihuahuas.
6. i get frustrated very easily.
7. my dogs are not always well behaved, especially when other people are around.
8. my son is only well behaved whenever other people are around.
9. i love them anyway.
10. i hate the military.
11. i married my husband anyway.
12. i know close to nothing about his job.
13. not even his rate or rank.
14. i like it that way, but other people think i'm weird.
15. i love tori amos.
16. and ani difranco.
17. i wanted to give you a more interestingprofie than the normal "name age location" thing.
18. i dye my hair red.
19. i've been dying it since i was 15
20. my hair has been gray since around the same time i started dating my husband, when i was 19.
21. my husband and i started "talking" on august 29th 2002.
22. we became a real couple on oct. 19th 2002.
23. we were married on oct. 18th, 2003. my 21st b-day.
24. my sons due date was aug. 28th, 2004.
25. he was born or august 22 tho, so the coincidence ends there.
26. my favorite color is purple.
27. i was born in philly, but moved to virginia when i was 4.
28. i live in CT now, cause home is where the navy sends me.
29. my husband is almost 10 years older than me.
30. he acts 10 years younger than me.
31. i love summer.
32. i like the beach, but the water is nasty, and i hate sand.
33. one of goals in life is to go to a beach with clear blue water.
34. i dream of going to new orleans someday.
35. i have a sneeking suspicion than new orleans in my dreams is the way it was along time ago, and going there today would probably be quite a shock to me.
36. i'm afraid of the dark.
37. i love walking in the rain in the summer.
38. i fell in love with my husband when he convinced me to have kids.
39. i never wanted children, but i love my son more than life.
40. i am shy, but you wouldn't know it if you knew me.
41. i'm a bitch and i know it.
42. girls piss me off.
43. my life is one binge after another, i going on cleaning rampages, i get obbsessed with blogging, i spend days at a time doing just one thing, and then i move on.
44. i hate that about myself.
45. i'm 22 years old and i sleep with a stuffed bear.
46. i have panic attacks when i drive.
47. i hate big crowds of people i dont know.
48. i love big crowds of my friends.
49. i don't drive much.
50. i loved the movie "Donnie Darko" but after watching it 13 times i still don't have a clue what happened or what it was about.
51. if you could explain it to me i'd be thrilled.
52. i'm dyslexic.
53. i read at a college reading level when i was in 7th grade.
54. i used to be pagan. now i'm not religious.
55. i don't think of myself as a pessimist but others would say i am.
56. i have low expectations to avoid being dissapointed, but i'm happy when things exceed my expectations.
57. i have a very large vocabulary, but i dont use it much because i'm afraid of being misunderstood.
58. i compleatly forgot what i was going to say here.
59. i am a horrible speller.
60. i remember now.
61. i type using 2 fingers on my right hand, but i'm pretty fast and i know where all the keys are... most of the time.
62. my husband makes a perfect omlet.
63. he tried to teach me how, but mine are always ugly.
64. i want ever product i have ever seen an info-mercial for.
65. i hate being compared to other people.
66. i dont understand how the same man who on rare occasion says or does something that takes my breath away and makes me feel whole and safe and wonderful, is the same man who pisses me off so easily by leaving his boots at the botom of the stairs where he knows i'll trip on them or forgets to put the toilet seat down so i fall in when i pee in the middle of the night.
67. i dropped out of college because i was bored.
68. i have clear memories of a trip i took to england when i was 4 years old, but i can't remeber where i put the keys this morning.
69. i met my husband, the love of my life, working in a deli.
70. i loved him the second i saw him, but it took us almost 2 years to get together.
71. i try not to have unrealistic goals in life.
72. sometimes i cry in the shower for no reason.
73. i used to cry every day. now i hardly ever let anyone see me cry.
74. i have never farted in front of my husband, i don't think i am physically able to.
75. i want to be great at something.
76. i dont know what.
77. i like rap, alternative, and countless other types of music.
78. i'm bored.
79. i'm 22, and i have a 14 year old step daughter.
80. my goal was to think of 100 things about myself to tell you here, but i'm tired, so i'll quit while i'm ahead.