diary of a dysfunctional doll

insomnia and the morning news.

03.18.05 (2:14 am)

insomnia sucks. i've done all the cleaning i can do for one night. i havent slept yet, i've barely slept at all the past few days. i'm too tired to even think right now. i'm watching the morning news and i'm alittle disturbed. i'm not that into contiversial topics, i'm not all about putting my oppinions on anyone else, but sometimes i like to share my thoughts and hear the thoughts of others when it comes to such things. todays top stories locally are... um, its gonna snow sunday, and other than that, not much interesting here in CT, high gas prices, some politics, blah blah blah. so national news now, afew things are bothering me. first of all, it is my personal oppinion that if i hear martha stewarts name one more time i might throw up. do any of you actually care that shes out of jail? i mean, personally i think if she was guilty (which i have no oppinion on, cause i really didnt care enough to follow the trial) then she shoulda done more time, i certianly dont need to hear about her every day now that shes out just to be reminded. secondly... michel jackson, is it just me, or didn't we go through this already afew years back? child molester or not, hes creepy and weird. and even if he wasn't, and i dont care who i offend with this one, if a guy his age was accused of molesting kids before, and you as a parent let your kids go play with that guy and have sleep overs and what not, well shame on you! i'm not saying that makes it ok for him to do it again, but kids have no damn business having slumber parties with a grown man, or woman for that mater, and i don't really give a damn who they are. i think these kids parents need to be investigated. i mean, come on, if you dropped your kids off to play in traffic on a busy highway you'd be in big trouble, and would probably loose your kids, so why do these parents get to drop their kids of in another potentialy dangerous situation and hes the only one in trouble. dont get me wrong, he should be in trouble, but didn't these kids have parents? and isnt it likely that those parents only let their kids go be in this situation with the hopes that something like this would happen so they could sue him? i don't have all the facts, as i watch as little of the news as possible (i only watch at all when i'm severly bored), but this bothers me.

ok, one last thing and i'll be done. Terri Schiavo. i don't know a whole lot about this subject either. i'm under the impression that she didnt leace her wishes in writing, kinda a bad move. i'm only 22 years old but i've informed ALL of my family the best i can what i'd want done for me in such situations, and even that i would prefer to be creamated in the event of my death, just to avoid any confusion. i've also put it in writing. might not do much good, i'm sure they'd do as the damn well pleased, or what they thought was best, but atleast they wouldn't be confused or conflicted about my personal wishes. sorry, i'm tired and rambling, thats so not my point. this botheres me, they keep showing video clips of this poor woman in the hospice where shes at, and in some of them you see her smiling ( i know her face is messed up, but it sure looks like a smile to me). i dont really know what the extent of her brain damage is either, but my point is i'm assuming she still has some feelings, shes awake, shes somewhat aware of her surroundings.... i hope you get my point. she doesnt appear to be a vegtable in a coma... and starving to death doesn't sound like much fun to me. how can they do this to her? i'm not saying i'd want to live like that, but i certianly would rather that than be starved to death. if she was on life support to keep her breathing, or something i'd understand, but if they take away her feeding tube, i don't think its the same thing. thats going to be a slow, no doubt painful death. if you lock someone in a room somewhere and dont allow them food and they die, you murdered them. isn't that basically what they plan to do to her? maybe i should keep my oppinions about things i don't know alot about to myself, but i think i will spend the rest of the day thinking about this, so i had to mention it.

as an after thought i did a look up of terri on the web, and after some reading i think i understand that she isnt as aware of her surroundings as she looks, which really isn't saying much. but i still cant help but wonder if she'll feel herself starving to death. i just dont like it.

posted by: jennirae269
post date: 03.18.05 (2:58 am)

Martha - If you have enough money, you can buy your way out of anything, including jail.

Michael - The parents probably did let their children hang out with him on purpose in hopes that they could get some of his money. They should go to jail with him.

Terri - Not real familiar on the subject either. But I'm torn on what would be best for her. I would hate to starve to death, but I wouldn't want to "live" in that condition, or put that burden on my family. Tough call there.

posted by: dysfunction1018
post date: 03.18.05 (8:54 pm)

Reply to: jennirae269
i agree, i think the thing that bothers me about terri isnt the end just the means to the end. people who commit horrible crimes on death row don't get starved to death, if we did that to they it would be "crule and unusual" punishment, so why is it ok to starve her? thats all, i wouldnt want to live like that either, but i'd take it over dying a slow painful death any day.

posted by: Roxgirl
post date: 03.19.05 (8:19 am)

WOW, a lot on your mind, for sure!!!

Take it easy! :)

posted by: FinalyFree
post date: 03.19.05 (5:58 pm)

What I can't figure out about the whole Michael Jackson thing is--and let me say I grew up with this man, I was a huge fan of the Jackson 5, I saw the 'Victory Tour' and Thriller is still one of the best albums of all time, IMHO--WHY in the hell would any parent let their 10 year old spend the night at a single, 45 year old, plays with monkeys, lives in an amusement park man? WTF is their reasoning? Money aside, I just don't get it.

If you don't sleep soon check with your Dr. hon, Ambien has been a miracle drug for this insomniac :)

posted by: dysfunction1018
post date: 03.19.05 (6:41 pm)

Reply to: FinalyFree
i'm scared to take ambien, or anything else...i've tried tylenol pm and i have a really hard time waking up the next day, i mean i can take one pill and sleep for 17 hours, and even when i do wake up, my head feels fuzzy. with nate waking up at 6am most days i cant really take anything if its going to do that to me cause i have to be able to wake up. i'm pretty much screwed.

posted by: FinalyFree
post date: 03.22.05 (9:27 pm)

Reply to: dysfunction1018

you could probably take half of one, you go to sleep really good but you're not hungover the next day. In fact I can't even tell I've taken them :)

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3. my son is 6 months old.
4. i am terrified of dogs.
5. i have two chihuahuas.
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7. my dogs are not always well behaved, especially when other people are around.
8. my son is only well behaved whenever other people are around.
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10. i hate the military.
11. i married my husband anyway.
12. i know close to nothing about his job.
13. not even his rate or rank.
14. i like it that way, but other people think i'm weird.
15. i love tori amos.
16. and ani difranco.
17. i wanted to give you a more interestingprofie than the normal "name age location" thing.
18. i dye my hair red.
19. i've been dying it since i was 15
20. my hair has been gray since around the same time i started dating my husband, when i was 19.
21. my husband and i started "talking" on august 29th 2002.
22. we became a real couple on oct. 19th 2002.
23. we were married on oct. 18th, 2003. my 21st b-day.
24. my sons due date was aug. 28th, 2004.
25. he was born or august 22 tho, so the coincidence ends there.
26. my favorite color is purple.
27. i was born in philly, but moved to virginia when i was 4.
28. i live in CT now, cause home is where the navy sends me.
29. my husband is almost 10 years older than me.
30. he acts 10 years younger than me.
31. i love summer.
32. i like the beach, but the water is nasty, and i hate sand.
33. one of goals in life is to go to a beach with clear blue water.
34. i dream of going to new orleans someday.
35. i have a sneeking suspicion than new orleans in my dreams is the way it was along time ago, and going there today would probably be quite a shock to me.
36. i'm afraid of the dark.
37. i love walking in the rain in the summer.
38. i fell in love with my husband when he convinced me to have kids.
39. i never wanted children, but i love my son more than life.
40. i am shy, but you wouldn't know it if you knew me.
41. i'm a bitch and i know it.
42. girls piss me off.
43. my life is one binge after another, i going on cleaning rampages, i get obbsessed with blogging, i spend days at a time doing just one thing, and then i move on.
44. i hate that about myself.
45. i'm 22 years old and i sleep with a stuffed bear.
46. i have panic attacks when i drive.
47. i hate big crowds of people i dont know.
48. i love big crowds of my friends.
49. i don't drive much.
50. i loved the movie "Donnie Darko" but after watching it 13 times i still don't have a clue what happened or what it was about.
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67. i dropped out of college because i was bored.
68. i have clear memories of a trip i took to england when i was 4 years old, but i can't remeber where i put the keys this morning.
69. i met my husband, the love of my life, working in a deli.
70. i loved him the second i saw him, but it took us almost 2 years to get together.
71. i try not to have unrealistic goals in life.
72. sometimes i cry in the shower for no reason.
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74. i have never farted in front of my husband, i don't think i am physically able to.
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78. i'm bored.
79. i'm 22, and i have a 14 year old step daughter.
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